Because You Focused on It.

Because You Focused on It.

People wonder why things happen to them. It’s an age-old question: Why do bad things happen to good people? We rarely hear anyone ask “Why do good things happen to bad people?”

It’s true that we tend to manifest good or bad things into our lives as we focus on them. Good or bad things will happen to us regardless of what we think or do, but we do have some control on many issues.

Perhaps you have heard someone make one of these statements (or maybe this is you): “I don’t want to get sick” “I want to quit smoking” “I can’t catch COVID” “Don’t climb that tree, you’re going to fall” “You’re going to give me your illness” or “I want to lose weight”.

The person who makes these statements clearly is focusing on what they don’t want; what they want to avoid and are also projecting what they don’t want for others. It’s putting negative energy around a topic and into one’s mind and they actually gravitate towards the bad things happening. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Law of Attraction
The law of attraction shows us that we do become what we focus on. Our natural instinct for acceptance and love causes us to filter out negative words that can harm us. Words like “Lose” “Stop” “Quit” are filtered out of our conscious mind because they are negative words. Our sub-conscious mind picks up the rest of the message and delivers to our brain something we don’t actually want or need.

Here’s an example: “I can’t afford to catch COVID.” Sounds like a reasonable thing to say, but let’s dissect how this could sabotage the messenger. In our natural human instinct for survival, protection, love and acceptance, our sub-conscious mind filters out harmful or negative words. So “can’t”, being the negative word, gets filtered out. What is left for the messenger’s brain to absorb is “I afford to catch COVID.” It doesn’t grammatically make sense, but the message is still clear. The person is focusing on getting COVID.

This is a major eye-opener for people who finally see what they are doing! They are projecting and attracting negative things into their lives because of their own thought processes. Now, let’s be clear to state that not all the things we think about will or will not happen. There is no magic thought process to cure or prevent illnesses, but we also know that this is the exact reason why placebos work for so many people.

Placebo Effect
Ahhhh, now this is making more sense! The placebo effect is proof that our minds have tremendous power over our bodies, so read on to see how you can improve your life and the lives of others.

Change your focus!
Focus on what you want to happen and be sure to avoid the negative words. Write out ten things you wish to happen and see how many times you want to say the negative and limiting words such as “can’t, don’t, won’t, give-up, lose, quit….”

Re-write the list and see what it is that you really want for yourself and for others. Change “I want to lose weight” to “I want to be thinner”. Can you read some of the examples I used above and see how you can re-state them using only positive words? It works the same way when you are talking with others. If your child is climbing a tree, will you be the parent who projects at them that they will fall? Or will you be the parent who tells them to be careful and to please come down safely?

Be careful what you project to other people. Will you tell someone “You’re going to get sick” or will you say “Please stay healthy” when you are trying to be helpful to them? The best thing you can do is to project what you want to happen, using only positive words.

An Improved Life is Your Choice
You now have an incredible tool for a better life. You’re reading this for a reason and it is your choice to absorb the positive approach or brush it off as nonsense. Whether you think you can or if you think you cannot improve your life through this thought process… either way, you are correct!

Cyber Bullying

Cyber bullying is one of the cruelest forms of bullying for children. The victim tends to read what is written about them several, if not many times. This leads to the victim believing that there could be some truth to the words they are reading, even if none of it is true. Why does this occur?

When people read something, it is their own voice they tend to hear in their head. When a person bullies someone in person or via telephone, it is easier to identify the bully and put a face/voice to the instigator of trouble. But when a child “hears” his or her own voice and they repeatedly reads the attack, it is as if they are attacking themselves.

Reducing the damage from Cyber Bullying

Children lessen the blow of a cyber bully by avoiding reading the attack more than once. The victim feeds the bully what he or she wants by responding to the attack. Children who avoid engaging in communications with the cyber bully become boring to the bully. Ultimately, the bully may seek another victim who clearly displays their annoyance, fear or anger.

It can be scary or infuriating when the victim does not even know who is writing these things on social media about them. Naturally anyone would want to know who is creating this problem, but what is known is that the anonymous person is acting very cowardly by hiding their identity. All the more reason to make sure children are not engaging in any dialog with the cyber bully because they are at a disadvantage. Encourage the child to spend very little time playing detective to unmask the villain. The last thing a bully wants is for the intended victim to avoid any communication with them.

Parents Getting Involved

Parents are encouraged to be made aware of cyber bullying attacks, but they too need to be cautious when reading an attack. If the child or parent has a low self-esteem, they may start believing the lies that are written. This is exactly what is wanted from a bully.

Focus on building the child’s self-esteem and it will reduce the affect any bully will ever have on them. If the attack appears to include physical threats, take this seriously and have the local school or police informed.

Block any person who tries to harm via cyber bullying. If the bully opens up a new account, block the new account and continue to not engage. Bullies get excited when they see their target is being affected. They get bored when they don’t get the reaction from the intended victim. Bored bullies typically move on to someone more interesting.

DesRochers and Tako: The Twin Towers of Anti-Bullying Advocacy

Former Seattle Seahawks NFL player and current Vice President of PATH2™ Online Career Selection Program, Dave DesRochers teams up with Stephen Tako, author of Junga the Dancing Yeti anti-bullying book series. Both men are over 6’6” tall and share the anti- bullying passion. Bullied because of his size in junior high, Dave understands how tough it can be on a young person who is judged by appearance, not by the person. Dave and Stephen will team up with corporate sponsors, notably the Rotary Club of Santa Clarita Valley, across southern California to attend charity events and donate autographed books to children.

Stephen Tako is a Keynote Speaker and a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, the Screen Actors Guild and Rotary Club. Dave DesRochers is VP/Partner PATH2HappiSuccess; Vice President of Orange County Chapter at NFL Players Association; Keynote Speaker and former NFL Football Player with the Seattle Seahawks and Rotary Club.

Glenn Terry of the Rotary Club of Santa Clarita has organized a meeting between these anti-bullying “giants” and leaders of the City of Santa Clarita, Representatives from local School Districts and local Rotarians on Friday, May 21 st .

“The Rotary Club of Santa Clarita has purchased 100 Books of Junga the Dancing Yeti™ volume 1 & 2 (books on Anti-Bullying) to donate to all Elementary school Libraries in SCV”, said Mr. Terry. “We've had the amazing opportunity to have met with the Author who will also be present on Friday. We will be distributing the books sometime soon and hope that they help make a positive impact on the children of SCV.”  

Confirmed Attendance:
Jeff Pelzel- Superintendent- Newhall District   
Colleen Hawkins- Superintendent-Saugus District Jezelle Fullwood- Asst. Superintendent-Sulphur Springs-
Cameron Smyth- City Council 
Stephen Tako- Book Author
Dave DesRochers Former NFL player and Vice President of PATH2
Glenn Terry – SCV Rotary President
Linda Pederson- SCV Rotary

COVID-19 Scars

The saying “hindsight is 20/20” means if we could see clearly what was going to happen in the past, we would have made the wisest decisions. In hindsight, things are now obvious that weren’t obvious from the outset; one is able to evaluate past choices more clearly now. COVID-19 has turned the world upside down and has ruined lives. But there is hope and you can be the beacon of light.

Since last year was 2020, it’s an interesting play on words to see what choices we would have made if we had a clearer vision of what 2020 would have brought to us. Would we have made safer choices or did we go overboard with safety measures? Did we catch the coronavirus and pass it on to others? Did we or are we now struggling with the idea of receiving a vaccine shot? Were we attacking other people for wearing or not wearing a mask? Did we lose friends over the USA presidential election? Are we grieving the loss of a loved one, a job or a life-savings? Did we witness ethnic hate-crimes or increased prejudices? Would we have made better choices if we had known how things were going to turn out?

Hate Crimes and Domestic Violence

The world will be feeling many scars from the COVID-19 pandemic for a very long time. Asian-Americans are quite aware that anti-Asian hate crimes have risen by 150% in 2020, even though the overall percentage of ethnic hate crimes has decreased by 7 percent. After the stay-at-home orders were put into place, the rates of domestic violence have increased from double digits across the United States, up to 50% in Brazil and 300% in China; leaving victims in close contact with their abusers for longer periods of time.

While we cannot turn a blind eye to the horrors and pain in the world, we must be careful to avoid reading all the doom and gloom every day, allowing ourselves to fall into depression as well. Here are important steps to take to emerge from this pandemic with limited scars for ourselves and loved ones.

6 Steps to Improve Lives During COVID-19

  1. Be smart and safe. If others around you are not taking the safety precautions seriously, do your best to avoid letting down your guard. On the flip side, avoid causing a scene by “being the guy or gal” that won’t conform to the local safety policy.
  2. Wash your hands frequently and avoid touching your face; just like you would during any flu season. COVID-19 can be avoided by being careful.
  3. Pay close attention to vulnerable people such as children and elderly to make sure they are not being neglected. Ask them how their day went and listen to their stories so they may share their feelings with you.
  4. If you suspect someone you know is being abused, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233). Calling the police first is a natural instinct, but this can make things worse. The hotline is a great start.
  5. Focus on making a positive difference in the world. With Junga the Dancing Yeti™ books, videos, school presentations and lesson plans, we are doing our part to make a difference for children. Junga, Grandma Yeti, Heidi and Groth are all characters designed to help children learn more about acceptance and empathy.
  6. For every minute you spend reading or watching something that is depressing or negative, match or exceed that time with inspirational and motivating material or videos.

You too can find a way to help improve lives by staying safe and being level-headed. You can motivate others who watch you lead by example. Spend quality time checking in on others and help them through these challenging times. It’s time for the COVID-19 scars of 2020 to start healing, but we are not out of the woods quite yet.

Leaving a Legacy

Leaving a Legacy One day you are no longer going to be here on earth and there is nothing you can do about this fact. I’m in the same boat and so were my parents, their parents and also my son. We’re all just occupying this planet for a short period of time and it’s up to us to make the best of it while we can. But what happens to all the things we worked on when we are gone? All the things that were so important to us… unfinished business and untold stories that may die with us.

We can make a difference! We can leave a legacy where we will be remembered for the positive contributions we’ve made in this world. But what can we do? Are we too busy, too tired, don’t think we can do anything worthy of mention? Or can we have the determination within us to actually matter, even after we’re gone?

First we need to ask ourselves: Who am I serving in this life?

If you are you serving yourself, you are focused on what’s best for you. Any why shouldn’t you? It’s a dog-eat-dog world and nobody’s out to help you so you’re focused on helping yourself. And when you’re gone, well, who cares? You’re gone and you had your fun while it lasted. But in your pursuit of self-gratification, you may have built something quite remarkable and impressive. However most people who serve themselves usually have unhealthy relationships. They eventually attract people who are waiting for them to die so they can get their hands on what will be left behind. It’s one way of leaving a legacy.

If you are serving others (or a Higher Power), you are in a different mind frame. You evaluate your actions and see the benefits in what you are doing for others and feel good about helping people. You strive to make improvements in your judgements and setting positive examples for others is meaningful. People who learn from you will take your lead and make sometimes life-altering decisions because of your guidance. This is also leaving your legacy. You never know how future generations will be affected by some of the simplest selfless actions you take. Like being kind to a stranger or introducing someone to their soulmate. Random acts of kindness do more good in the world than many charity organizations.

An excellent reason why many people donate to support the arts is because they are making a conscious choice to leave the world a better place. We know that people see what we are doing with Junga the Dancing Yeti™ and they want to be involved, somehow. They want to be a part of a movement that involves helping vulnerable children. Each child that becomes inspired by our books and lesson plans has a choice to serve themselves or serve others. We are doing our best to ingrain in them the importance of serving others; to have empathy for others and to be kinder. This is the legacy we are leaving and we want you to be a part of this crusade.

How will you be remembered when you are gone?

Standing Tall Within the Crowd

Introduction

Each of us have unique attributes within society. We’ve all experienced pain at some point because we are different from others. While there is an ingrained desire to fit in with others, many people despise their differences. Self-loathing has caused so much pain and can be avoided with proper counseling, proper peer influences and with surrounding oneself with positive streams of energy.

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. I’ve had a lot of training on human behavior and find people to be fascinating. To learn why people do the things they do or think the way they think has always been enlightening to me. I’ve learned the Neuro-Linguistic method and to this day, use the techniques in my presentations. I co-hosted a relationship radio show for a year with a licensed family counselor. And I have my own talk show on YouTube where I’ve interviewed counselors, athletes, victims of bullying and more, in order to help people enjoy better lives.

As a part-time actor, I played a yeti in a film in 2011. After filming, I was drawn to the character because I was a nice yeti and people assumed I was an evil monster because of my looks and what they’d heard about yetis. At 6’7”, I was standing pretty tall and in costume, pretty intimidating to others. But I loved to dance and make people smile…. This yeti was very different and became depressed simply because he was misunderstood.

Ten years later and I’ve taken these differences, the pain of rejection, the fear of the unknown future, the many hurdles and disappointments, and continued to look at the positives. Continued to persevere when most would have quit. This perseverance isn’t natural. My endless optimism wasn’t always met with warmth. What would have felt more natural, would have been to throw in the towel and give up on their dreams or passions. That’s what most people will do, and for good reason, because it can be very lonely at the top.

Please join me on this blog adventure as I share stories of amazing people that have inspired me along my own path. We will cover ways to switch negating thought processes into positive energy and see how many of us have been sabotaging our own path to success. How can we use our unique gifts and inspire others within our inner circles? Let’s delve into our differences and find ways that we can all stand tall within the crowd.